The Last Day of My Last Pregnancy
This Is It, My Last Pregnancy!
Well, this is it! My chapter on my family of five is ending and my chapter on my family of six is about to begin. We are closing shop I swear! The car seat is installed, the meal train has started, my in-laws are flying in, bags are packed and camera is charged. It’s always a little hard when you know it’s the last time you will bring a life into this world. You see, I already went through this with Roman. I thought I was completely done, so I went through what every mom goes through knowing its your last. Roman was a twin so I surely thought I wouldn’t be going down this road again. I couldn’t handle yet another angel baby. However, this time I am exhaling all of those things that happened. Letting them go. With this unexpected baby on the way, I am older and with age comes wisdom. I am excited to welcome this new baby to our family and also sad to shelf the child-bearing years. I think they call this a right of passage.
Most moms already know that the last weeks of pregnancy are harrowing. It’s uncomfortable co-habitating with another human. Don’t get me wrong, its beautiful and I will miss it of course, but its painful. Despite the discomfort I also find myself teary and exhausted. I haven’t slept in over two weeks due to him taking over my torso and the anxiety of it all. I also know I won’t be sleeping for the next four months. And just like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, I feel like I have one foot in my old world, and one ruby red slipper gearing up to my new world. I feel like I am walking a side of a cliff on the very tippy edge this pregnancy with old Danielle anxiously waiting for my new much bigger family “self.”
But knowing this is the last day of my last pregnancy I am trying to smile with gratitude that I was blessed to experience this four times. (Really 7 but I don’t like to talk about that much) Thats just a miracle in itself. When people see me out and it looks like I am in pain they say, “Cheer up hunny, it’s almost over and you are having a baby.” I get it… despite my pain and exhaustion I will be leaving my home tomorrow with my bags packed and I will be returning with another family member. How cool is that? A true blessing in itself. Of course I am petrified of another loss I just cannot bare but I am throwing those scary feelings right out the door.
I love motherhood and everything that it encompasses. I am a devoted mom, but I try to never lose my sense of self. I want my kids to know me, who I am, how silly I am and how I will always put them first, after daddy of course. In a world full of bitty’s I strive to be a Lucy.
It’s so different this time around with Jackson being 8 and my Dylan being 7. They are the ultimate helpers for me and with them being older I am really seeing the blue skies through the many foggy day.
Well then there is Roman, like most three-year olds, walks to his own inspired dance and has us spinning on most days.
I Am Ready For This Baby!
There is so much going through my head knowing a new baby will be here tomorrow. I am excited to bring this baby home to meet the siblings that can’t wait to hold him. I am excited to sleep on my stomach again and not feel like I am hurting the baby with every turn. I am also excited to get a day or two in the hospital to snuggle with this precious baby that I have been longing to greet. I will miss the reminder with every kick that I created him, but look forward to taking all of him in, knowing he is a piece of myself and Bobby. I look forward to picking him up and unconditionally loving him and instantly feel God’s greatest miracle.
I am ready! Ready for it all. I know it will be quite challenging the first few months, but I am elated to begin our lives as a family of six! Stay tuned for our crazy world about to unfold. I would love to hear from you, comment below and let me know if you remember having your last baby and what you thought.
12 thoughts on “The Last Day of My Last Pregnancy”
You are the best mom I know! I love you and can not wait to hear from you tomorrow. If anyone can do this, it’s you and Bobby….I think its Schaffer magic!
i love you ange… thanks for the years of belly laughs
I love you and your family. I’m so excited for the newest member of the family! Can’t wait to see you all on the 28th.
Love you Dani, just breathe! Life is going to continue to be perfect. xoxo
Thanks caroline for always being my rock….
Tomorrow???!!!!!!!! I’m so excited!!!!! You are amazing!!! This baby is blessed to be a part of your very loving, beautiful, and fun family!!! I am praying that everything is perfect! Love you. ?
wish you were here renee…. love you bunches….
You got me all misty eyed over here— Ahhhh-gain!!!!? Wow; I guess I never stop to put my thoughts into words like this– but if I did, they would strongly resemble the words in this post. Omg– I was so anxious about having just two children (Brady was and will be my last natural birth) that I wrote a book about modeling (lol;) during that time- just to keep my mind off the nausea/discomfort/anxiety of it all. Plus I felt like a whale, so what better topic to escape into than high fashion runway stomping, right?? Of course!!! Ohhh my D; I am beyond overjoyed, thrilled, beside myself for you. I’ve said this before, saying it again— when you have the kind of trust in the Universe like you do, and you harness that Power with the intention of your heart’s deepest desire;, you can manifest pretty much anything that coincides with God’s majesty. You called that baby into existence really 2 years ago; at the Fertile Book Store,lol.. And here we are. To watch you then traverse these last 10 months, never slipping, nor skipping a beat; looking your best- walking through heartbreaking losses and staying gracious and giving through it all— I mean WOW!!!! You go girl. God will continue to bless you with a perfect baby boy (ahhhhhh-gain!!?) and you will see the personification of yours and Bobby’s love in the crook of your arm this time tomorrow. Love you and can’t wait for the next big adventure to begin!!!!??
Thanks Natashia… for your support day in and day out…. it never goes unnoticed…
you are blessed!! I’m thinking about you and am so happy for your growing family!!
Thank you Autumn… so happy you are reading my blog
I remember the first moment that I laid eyes on you when you came out of your townhouse to meet me on Lamp Post in Wilmington. I knew right then that I was going to love you. At the time though I never dreamed of all of the different sides of your personality that there was to love. Jackson came along and we held our breath wondering what this combination of Italian and Japanese DNA would look like. It was oh, well that is surely Danielle’s big eyes. Then your call to me on the day that Dylan was born and I will never forget your saying that the Okinawa Baby had arrived. I will never forget going to the doctor with you when you were told that Roman’s twin had not made it and the little charm gift that the nurse gave you to remember this little soul. My heart was breaking that day for you. Roman was born with a big sigh of thankfulness for a beautiful healthy baby boy with a permanent smile. And then God said, “And there will be one more.” When I gave my Mother’s speech for Laura’s wedding, her siblings were so emotional, I realized that her birth as fourth child was really different for our family. She was not just “my” baby but everyone’s baby in the family who helped to take care of her and teach her life skills. The loving term of “The Baby of the Family” is getting ready to be permanently inscribed on the forehead of this new baby boy. Welcome to a whole new wonderful family life experience!
Oh Dona… I just love your words…. I love this story… You are so inspirational you have no idea…. Thank you for always being there for me… for opening your door to my family many many times… You are always on speed dial. I adore you and always will!!!