Behind every great family is a mom who thinks she could have done better. I grew up with parents who definitely could have done things better. The overthinking, the worry, the should of, could of is REAL! I partly blame this on us parents having too much information. Don’t get me wrong, I think we have made great progress from the 80s when I walked a mile to school while grandma drank her tab!
But one thing I’m jealous of is that our parents didn’t have the magnitude of worry we have. I simply feel inundated with so much information, especially now that I have two in high school and this territory is scary! The information out there is impossible to process effectively so instead, I find myself with a million open tabs filled with mom worry.
We need to stop overthinking everything. Filter out some of the noise and the catastrophic headlines we read daily. I am going to try to close tabs and smile and enjoy because you know what? Our kids too have a plethora of information that they need to process.
I’m sharing a few helpful tips I’ve found to ease that anxiety when it starts to creep in. Here’s to unsticking your mom brain, staying away from bad news, and unplugging from worrying. Be good to your empathetic self who simply can’t take everything on.
Take Time to Journal
Not to add one more thing to your plate, but even just 10 minutes of journaling can truly make such a huge difference. Heck, it doesn’t even need to be on pen and paper. Get your Notes app out, voice text yourself, talk out loud to yourself in the car—however you need to, take 10 minutes to talk about what’s worrying you, how you’re feeling, and let the thoughts flow freely. Once that timer goes off, close it up and move on with your day. You may feel lighter!
Communicate With a Trusted Confidant
Sometimes, as a mom, we just need to worry. Give yourself the time to do that with someone you trust. It could be your partner, your parents, your friends—if there’s something on your mind, talk it out with a trusted confidant who can validate your feelings, offer a new perspective, or help you learn to let go.
Filter Out the Fake
There’s a lot of information out there and often, and it’s not always accurate. When we’re already anxious, it’s easy to think the absolute worse of every situation our kids are in. When you notice that, stop and think about what the facts are, what specifically is making you worried, and if there’s any truth to that.
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Talk to Your Kids
I don’t think we need to burden our kids with our stress, but when you have an open line of communication with your kids, you may find that your worry lessens. We tend to have big family talks every month or so as our kids get older to talk about partying, drinking, peer pressure, etc. Giving my kids the tools and resources they need and having those conversations with them, makes me feel good about them going out into the world prepared and informed.
Practice makes perfect. And as a mom, it’s hard to undo that natural instinct to worry over our kids. But when you find yourself starting to spiral down that dark hole of internet searching, say to yourself ‘we’re not doing this anymore’ or simply ‘stop.’ Sometimes that verbal check-in is just enough to snap us back into reality, ground us, and help us move on.
Know Your Kids’ Friends
Who your kids surround themselves with can be a huge influence on them, especially in middle school and high school years. You don’t need to be the smothering parent, but let’s know the close-knit group, the besties! Ask your kids about who they spend time with and what they like to do to ease your mind when they’re out of the house.
Know Your Kids
Listen, we’ve all been there. Life is for the living and as they grow older, our kids will continue to push boundaries and explore their self-identities. But we can remind ourselves that they are the product of us. We raised them, we’ve taught them what we know, and we’ve shared our concerns and our praise. All that’s left is to continue to support them, carefully guide them, and watch them flourish.
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