The Truth About Teen Drinking (and Why “The Cool Mom” Isn’t Cool After All)

Hey Moms— This one’s close to my heart. With one teen already in college and three more coming up behind him, I know how tricky it can be to navigate those high school years—especially when homecoming season and the holidays roll around. The parties, the pressure, the choices.

That’s why I want to open up this conversation about teen drinking and why the whole “cool mom” mentality can actually do more harm than good. Let’s look out for our kids and each other this season!

When “Supervised” Isn’t Safe

It’s a common belief among parents: “I’d rather they drink at home where I can keep an eye on them.”
But research shows that teens who drink with parental permission are actually more likely to engage in risky drinking later in life. And those who start drinking before 15 are at a much higher risk for developing alcohol use disorder (AUD) down the road.

It might feel safer in your kitchen, but the message it sends can follow them long after the party ends.

The Legal Risks of Hosting Underage Drinking

Even with the best intentions, allowing teens to drink in your home is illegal in most states.
Social hosting laws hold parents and homeowners responsible if minors consume alcohol on their property—and consequences can include fines, job loss, or even jail time.

Being the “cool mom” might sound fun in theory, but in reality, it’s a risky move that can change everything in an instant.

Parents Are the #1 Influence

According to Responsibility.org, parents are the leading influence on whether or not kids choose to drink. That’s powerful—and it means your words and actions matter more than you think.

Here’s how to model responsibility:

Keep talking. Even if it feels awkward, these conversations build trust that lasts.

Set clear expectations about your family’s stance on drinking.

Explain real consequences—both emotional and legal.

Encourage alternatives—help teens plan hangouts or events that don’t center around alcohol.

Most Teens Don’t Drink (and That’s Worth Celebrating!)

Here’s the good news: most teens are making responsible choices.

82% of 8th graders
68% of 10th graders
51% of 12th graders
say they’ve never consumed alcohol.

Underage drinking isn’t a rite of passage—it’s a myth. And the more we normalize saying no, the more we empower our kids to do the same.

Start the Conversation Early (and Keep It Going)

Not sure how to bring it up? Responsibility.org’s conversation starters are a great place to begin.

Ask questions like:

“What would you do if you were offered a drink?”
“What do you think happens when teens drink?”
“How can I support you in making safe choices?”

These open-ended talks help kids feel seen, not judged—and that’s what keeps the door open for honesty.

Let’s Be the Moms Who Set the Standard

At the end of the day, being “cool” isn’t about pouring the drinks—it’s about showing up, setting boundaries, and protecting our kids from risks they’re not ready for.

So as homecoming season and the holidays roll in, let’s keep the conversations going, model responsibility, and remind our kids that saying no is always an option.

Because the coolest thing you can be is the mom who cares enough to stand firm. 💛